Do you struggle to connect with people? Are you constantly weighed down by the mystery of whether people really like you?
No matter how extroverted you may be we all struggle to feel connected with others. Maybe you are one of those rare people who seem to have the magical touch with anyone they meet.
That’s great if that’s you, but the rest of us want to know how to really connect with others. So whether you need some new friends or desire to add customers to your business, let’s look at 4 tips taken from How to Win Friends and Influence People.
I believe that these tips will help you connect with others and “get” them to like you.
#1: Give honest and sincere appreciation.
Appreciation is a simple but underused gift you can give someone. If someone has truly done something that helped you out, let them know about it!
Use kind, uplifting words – written and spoken. Give a small gift as a token of appreciation. Spend time with that individual helping them out.
Find a way to show the appreciation, and be genuine about it. If you are at a restaurant that supplies exemplary customer service, let them know how wonderful it is!
A few kind words or gestures really do go a long way.
#2: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests, and be a good listener.
If I can be completely honest for just a minute, this is the tip from Dale Carnegie’s book that confused me at first.
How do you get people to like you if all you’re doing is letting them talk? How are they going to get to know you if you’re just talking about their interests?
Here’s the key: if you want to get people to like you, you have to be a good listener! When you are talking with someone, try to keep them talking as much as possible. Use follow up questions and physically lean in and nod your head up and down as they talk.
Maybe that sounds strange, but it works! You aren’t being fake by doing this. You are learning how to make your body respond to someone else so that they see and feel that you really are interested.
#3: Show respect for other’s opinions.
If you want to get people to like you, stop disagreeing with them!
They may be wrong and you may think you have a better solution, but just button your lips!
Not everything in life is black and white, and we can actually have great relationships with people who are completely different from us.
People will like you if you show respect for their opinions.
#4: Use encouragement and make any faults seem easy to correct.
I have heard it said that “Encouragement is the lotion for a sunburned soul.”
Do you feel that way? For me, a few encouraging words will last for days.
People tend to be the worst critics of themselves, so it is important if you want to get people to like you to use encouragement every day. Let them know it’s okay they messed up and that tomorrow is a new day.
People will like you if you encourage them and let them know everything is going to be okay.
So, where do you find yourself today?
Do you find it easy to make friends? Or is it a daily struggle to get people to like you?
No matter where you are, I want to leave you with a few thoughts.
One: there is no one as unique as you are in this world.
Two: be authentic in your relationships and don’t force a friendship.
Three: as long as there is breath in your lungs, there’s an opportunity to try again.
“So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11 NLT